Holiday Preparation - Creating Calming Thoughts
Holiday Preparation – Creating Calming Thoughts
The holidays are a time for joy, togetherness, and celebration, but they can also bring moments of tension, especially during family gatherings or when plans don’t go as expected. If you’ve ever felt your blood pressure rise or your patience fray, you’re not alone.
When faced with infuriating situations, our instinct might be to lash out, stew in anger, or let our emotions take over. But what if we prepared ourselves to navigate these moments with grace, calm, and control?
Here’s the good news: You can prepare. By practicing calming thoughts, you can stay composed—even when someone, intentionally or not, tries to push your buttons.
Below are some simple yet effective phrases to guide you back to peace when anger or frustration starts to creep in.
Mental Coolants for Heated Moments
1. "Breathe in deep and relax."
Deep breathing isn’t just a cliché; it’s science. Each deep breath activates your parasympathetic nervous system, signaling your body to calm down. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for six. You’ll feel the tension start to melt away.
2. "Getting worked up won't fix anything."
Sometimes, just acknowledging this truth can shift your mindset. Instead of spiraling, remind yourself that calmness is often the best problem-solving tool.
3. "If I stay calm, I’ve got this under control."
Calmness is power. When you keep your cool, you maintain control of the situation and yourself.
4. "No need to lose my temper; it won’t help."
Losing your temper might feel satisfying in the moment, but it rarely leads to resolution. By staying calm, you’re more likely to create solutions instead of regrets.
5. "I won’t let them get to me."
This phrase is a reminder that you have the power to decide how much influence others have over your emotions. You are in control.
6. "Anger won’t change them; it’ll just upset me."
People rarely change their behavior because we’re angry. Choosing calmness protects your peace and reminds you not to take on someone else’s emotional baggage.
7. "It’s not worth getting super mad over."
Ask yourself: Will this matter tomorrow? In a week? A month? Often, the answer is no. Keep the big picture in mind.
8. "Feeling angry is a sign I need to take a step back and deal with it calmly."
Anger is a signal, not a solution. Use it as a cue to pause, reflect, and respond with intention instead of reaction.
9. "I’ve got this; I’m in charge of my feelings."
Empower yourself with this phrase. It’s a reminder that while you can’t control others, you can control your own emotions and responses.
A Personal Note on Staying Calm
I know how hard it can be to keep calm when the pressure is on. One holiday season, I found myself in a tense family situation where I felt my emotions bubbling over. Instead of reacting, I stepped away, took a deep breath, and reminded myself: “This moment doesn’t define me.” By reframing my thoughts, I turned a potentially explosive situation into one of calm and connection.
It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
Practice Makes Peaceful
The key to mastering these calming thoughts is preparation. Don’t wait for a heated moment to try them for the first time. Instead:
Write these phrases down and keep them handy.
Reflect on which resonate most with you.
Practice saying them to yourself in small, everyday moments of frustration (like when you're stuck in traffic or waiting in a long line).
Journaling can also help solidify these ideas. Consider reflecting on moments when these phrases might have helped in the past or envision how you’ll use them in the future.
Final Thoughts
This holiday season, imagine walking into every family gathering or stressful moment armed with a sense of peace so deep that no one—no matter how hard they try—can push your buttons. You’ve done the inner work, and now you can enjoy your holiday season with calm, joy, and ease.
You’ve got this. And remember: staying calm is your superpower.
Much love, Lisa Caughman Payne, CAPP
